Conflict or misunderstanding exists in all forms of relationships–be it romantic or platonic relationships. The conflict here means verbal disagreements and arguments. Sometimes when there are different levels of understanding or miscommunications, it leads to verbal disagreements. It is important to note that, this isn’t a bad thing because it entitled every individual to have an opinion. However, your opinion needs to be communicated in an effective and healthy manner.
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Now, if that isn’t done, the outcome will be a misunderstanding which may lead to conflicts.
Because we can seldom avoid conflicts as humans, we need to be equipped with ways to resolve them when they occur, in order to continually stay in touch and bond with our loved ones.
Try to stay calm;
Tempers can get really high during misunderstandings and if not well controlled, could result to bigger conflicts that may not be easily resolvable. It is therefore good to practice the act of keeping calm in the heat of the moment. I know it can get difficult sometimes. Especially when the other party wouldn’t want to listen to your point. But without calm, things can get out of hand really quickly.
Find the actual issue;
It’s important to figure out the real cause or root issue behind the argument. This can only happen when you both get vocal with each other, minus the noise of course. When you both find your calm, try to get to the root cause of the argument by being open. “What was it you didn’t understand?” “Do you feel neglected by your partner?” “Do they mess up the room at every given opportunity?”. Instead of expressing these concerns through arguments that may appear as attacks, learn to talk about your issues in order to avoid constant fighting.
Learn to compromise;
Compromises are hard to achieve because nobody wants to be the sacrificial lamb. “Why should I be the one to give up my wants for you to achieve or get yours?” Yes, I get it. But sometimes, it becomes necessary for the success of the relationship. Try to find a middle ground that satisfies you both or does not cause harm to one party while satisfying the other. For example; you got back home late and hungry, only to realize there was no dinner. Instead of arguing over it, try compromising on a home-cooked meal by ordering some food. The main issue here is “food”, and restaurant or fast-food joints can solve that need. However, if it becomes a recurring issue, you can handle it better by finding out from your partner, the reason home-cooked meals are no longer a thing at home. This will help you find an actual solution.
Don’t use the word “never” or “always”;
In order to avoid further arguments in resolving a conflict, try not to use the words “never” or “always” as it may appear you blaming your partner for whatever is going on. When in reality, they may do what they think is right without realizing their actions are affecting them. For instance, “you are never home on weekends, that is why we barely spend time together” or “you always have your girls over on Fridays and that makes me sick!”. Saying things like these could make your partner defensive instead of seeing things from your point of view. Remember, you are trying to resolve your differences, not create new ones.
Try to address one issue at a time;
It’s very normal to have different issues flying around during misunderstandings as everyone may try to point out the negatives or faults of the other party. While it is good to address the misunderstanding, it is also very important to pick one issue at a time instead of juggling everything together. You both must decide on what issue, to begin with. Probably the most pressing one first and subsequently the others.
