Almost everyone, if not all adolescents and adults have experienced heartbreaks at some point in their lives. While it takes some people very little time to get over it, it takes others a longer time to heal. Some people, never get out there again or allow themselves to love anyone again out of fear of going through the heartbreak experience all-over again. However, I think love is a beautiful thing to experience. Allowing oneself to be loved as well as loving someone is something everyone should experience in their lifetime, no matter how many times others try to take advantage of your kindness and love.
Breakups can be a hard thing to get over especially when it’s all still fresh. Like how do you wake up one day knowing that, the one person you could literally do anything for, that you have shown kindness, probably co-habited with, is no longer feeling the same way about you, or because of medical concerns, family issues, etc., can longer be with you and love you as you desire? Sounds pretty hurtful right?
But it is very much possible to get over it and continue living like it never happened. Here are a few tips for doing that;
•Acknowledge your feelings;
I know this does not sound convenient, especially if people around you have told you to suck it up and act all cool as though it never happened. Their intentions may be in the right direction but the method or approach is absolutely not. How do you hold back yourself from crying, knowing very well your mom had just been admitted to the hospital and there is the possibility of losing her? Of course, you won’t do that! You would allow yourself to cry because that is the exact emotion you are feeling. It’s the same with heartbreaks. You may just want to prove a point that, the actions of your partner didn’t really affect you, and that he/she can run along for all you care. But dear, that doesn’t work in the long run. It will just break you apart in the future. So, allow yourself to feel whatever it is you may be feeling. It could be sadness, anger, disappointment, etc. Just feel and express them all.
•Accept that the relationship is over;
It’s very easy to hope that you both could probably talk things over and rebuild the relationship. So you find yourself in denial at the early stage and then you build up hope. That may not be very helpful; It would mean you are holding on to something that you may never have again. It could also make you appear desperate. Therefore, in trying to get over your heartbreak, you need to accept that reality – that relationship is over!
•Don’t rush the healing process;
It’s only natural for you to want to get over the sadness and anxiety and all the emotions you may experience because of the heartbreak. It’s very okay that you want to be okay and move on in life. But try not to rush the process. Meaning, don’t fake being okay when you are not because it takes time and patience. Also, try not to be hard on yourself. Care and comfort yourself just like you would your friend. It’s still okay to have a meltdown in the middle of the month 3 months down the line after a breakup. Don’t beat yourself about it. Just be patient, taking it one day at a time.
•As much as you can, avoid going to places you and your ex-partner used to visit together.
Chances are you may run into them which isn’t a very good idea since you are still trying to forget them. Another problem with doing that is the fact that, it only brings back memories you are trying so hard to forget. Sometimes, it’s really impossible to avoid it especially if you both belong to the same social groups, or even work in the same organization. Just try to avoid the ones you can.
•Delete their contacts and unfollow them on all socials at this initial stage;
For some people, when they eventually heal and get over the breakup, they may not mind seeing the social media posts of their ex-partners. But this is not advisable at the initial stages of heartbreak. Remember you are trying to forget this person. So you do not even have any business keeping photos or videos of them, talk more about their contacts and social media activities. You are even more likely to be stalking them. You definitely don’t want to look desperate.
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These are just few tips for dealing with or surviving a heartbreak. You can look out for more tips on the internet.